How to Have the Budget Conversation with your Partner

Fun fact for you.

The Wall Street Journal released an article on January 24, 2024, titled "The Trick to a Great Marriage: Vacation Without Your Partner". It's been getting a lot of buzz in the travel world ever since because it highlights the latest statistic that the majority of solo travelers are women (72%) women versus men (28%). The article even takes it a step further pointing out that taking solo trips can actually improve your marriage.

Married or not, if you've been around here long enough you know that I am a huge advocate for solo travel — especially for women. In fact, Dare to Detour retreats are designed around this goal: getting more women to take adventures on their own all while still having the foundation of the group to fall back on while abroad.

I'd be curious to know how many of you here have taken a trip solo recently? Is this something you are desiring to do? Well, read on, because I want to talk about one of the most important hurdles I've come across talking to so many women about why they don't travel solo very frequently.

I've had countless conversations with women who dream of embarking on a solo trip but find themselves facing hurdles when it comes to expressing this desire. It's a common challenge, but it's a conversation worth having with your partner to advocate for the transformative power of solo travel. Here are some tips on how to approach this important conversation:

The first step is to give yourself permission. Between family trips, work trips, couples-only trips, and travel for weddings or anniversaries... it can seem indulgent to add in another trip for just yourself.

It's not.

Not to throw guys under the bus here, but how many golf trips or trips to see “said” sporting event have they gone to that we haven't batted an eye at? Women absolutely deserve their own trips too!

The second hurdle is having the conversation from a budget perspective. This is a very real and common challenge I hear about a lot, so this is the area so I want to focus on today. Approaching the subject with planned talking points can be so helpful and it’s a conversation worth having with your partner to advocate for the transformative power of solo travel. Below are my tips for how to approach this important convo:

1. Pick the Setting

I’ve found conversations like these are best done in a space and place where both parties are relaxed. Plant the seed while you are ordering cocktails or are out to dinner, bring it up while you’re on a walk together or relaxing on the back patio…

2. Communicate Your Desire

Start by expressing your desire to take a solo trip and the reasons behind it. Whether it's for self-discovery, personal growth, or simply the joy of exploring a gorgeous place alone (eh hem, Italy!), communicate your passion for solo travel with your partner.

3. Highlight the Benefits

Sometimes facts can be helpful! Forward articles, like the one from The Wall Street Journal, that discuss the positive impact of solo travel on personal well-being and relationships. Emphasize that investing in yourself through your desired trip can lead to a happier and more fulfilled YOU, which will of course benefit your relationship too.

4. Set a Realistic Budget

Do your research and create the outline of a budget that includes the costs for accommodations, transportation, meals, activities, and any additional expenses.

5. Discuss Financial Priorities

Have an open and honest conversation about your financial priorities as a couple. Consider how solo travel fits into your overall budget and financial goals. It's important to find a balance between fulfilling your personal travel dreams and maintaining financial stability as a couple.

6. Explore Compromises

If budget constraints are a concern, explore compromises that can make solo travel more feasible. This could involve setting aside a specific travel fund, cutting back on other expenses, or finding budget-friendly travel options that still allow you to experience the joy of solo exploration.

7. Emphasize the Importance of Self-Care

Make the case that solo travel is not just a luxury, but a form of self-care and personal development. Taking time for yourself to recharge and explore new horizons can ultimately benefit your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being, which in turn positively impacts your relationship with your partner.

Solo travel is not just about exploring new destinations—it's about exploring yourself, gaining confidence, and embracing new challenges. Having an open and honest conversation with understanding and empathy can help bridge any gaps and lead to a mutual understanding of the value of solo travel. By advocating for your own desires while also considering your partner's perspective, you can work together to create a plan that allows you to embark on solo adventures without compromising the financial stability of your relationship.