What My Parents Taught Me about Love
My parents, Janet and Mel, have been my living, breathing guidebook to what authentic love looks like. Married in 1963, they've given me and my sister front-row seats to a love story that's been unfolding for decades.
Several years ago, my father began mapping out "memory trips" to take my mom on. In 2023, they took a road trip spanning over 800 miles through Oregon and northern California, revisiting many places they each lived during their childhoods, and during their marriage. The year before that, they retraced their honeymoon up the Pacific Coast Highway, staying in several of the same places they did in 1963?! Their go-to happy place is Monterey Bay and Pacifica, California where they have witnessed the Monarch butterfly migration multiple times. These aren't just trips - these are my dad's way of writing love letters.
My father comes from the last generation of watchmakers, and is an electrical engineer. He's a man who speaks love through actions rather than words. When he was a young college grad, he put an advanced degree on hold when his mother was diagnosed with tuberculosis, choosing instead to move home and support his siblings through school and care for his parents. A sacrifice that I've come to understand, was his way of saying love is sometimes putting others before your dreams, only to find that sometimes, those sacrifices lead to even better stories. He did ultimately get his Masters, often with three year old me in tow. If I was quiet and colored while he studied in the library, he would take me to Jack In The Box on our way home, which I remember being a real treat.
If my dad is an introvert, my mom is most definitely an extrovert, vivacious and social (like mother, like daughter!) While dating my dad, she was the girl who would go swimming and play tennis with my father, while other girls worried about their hair - a simple detail that speaks volumes about her way of being. She wanted to travel abroad, so took a teaching job with the Air Force, and moved to Frankfurt, Germany. She taught first grade during the week, and traveled throughout Europe on the weekends, matching my father's spirit of exploration, who, before moving home, had taken a Greyhound Bus through every state in the lower 48 after he graduated college. (this sentence seems like a run on, so hoping you can fix that).
They are the true travelers I aspire to be. Together, they've touched nearly every continent. They spent three years as hosts at a guest ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming after my dad retired, referring to this time as their "second career." Early on in my life, they left the comfort of suburban living outside of San Francisco, and moved our family to a small hobby farm southwest of Portland, Oregon. There they enrolled our whole family in 4H, raised all kinds of critters and grew most of our food on our small 9.5 acre farm. I consider this move to Oregon my first real Detour! This to say, they have continually shown me that shared adventures strengthen bonds. During my childhood, they made sure our family had plenty of camping and hiking adventures while they saved for our next big journey. This was their way of teaching us that love is both in the simple moments and the extraordinary adventures.
Growing up with parents like mine has been a masterclass in what real love looks like. It's taught me that love is:
Finding joy in the simple things, like setting up a tent under the stars.
Supporting each other's dreams, even when it means taking detours.
Creating adventures together, whether in your backyard or across continents.
Showing up consistently, day after day, year after year.
Planning for tomorrow while cherishing today.
Building a life of shared experiences rather than shared possessions.
I know how rare it is to witness a 62 years love like theirs—the kind that makes you believe in the possibility of forever. Their relationship has given me hope and shaped my understanding of what to look for. It is not the fairytale version we're sold, but the real, messy, beautiful kind that grows stronger with each shared memory and weathered storm.
In a world that often seems to have forgotten what lasting love looks like, I'm grateful to have my parents as a compass, showing me that true love isn't just about finding the right person – it's about being the right person, embracing each Detour, and choosing each other every single day.
So here's to Janet and Mel, my forever Valentine's inspiration, who taught me that the greatest love stories are written in the daily choices we make and the lives we build together, one memory at a time.
