Nico Hurley | A Path Rewritten
I met Nico during our Dare | Beartooths 2023 backpacking trip last summer. She had signed on to be our porter, and I have to admit, when I met her, I couldn't believe the diminutive woman standing before me could carry 70 pounds daily, on our behalf?! Well, Nico may be tiny, but she is indeed mighty...and grounded and kind and supportive and curious. At the time, she was finishing up her yoga training, and is now teaching here in Bozeman and leading her own retreats. I am truly honored to share Nico's story here, and to have her join my crew for Dare | Montana 2024, where she will lead mindful movement each morning.
Our Stories Matter | By: Nico Hurley
A Path Rewritten: Nico’s Journey from Civil Engineering to a Life of Purpose
I was on a rock climbing trip in Red Rock National Park, Las Vegas, when I woke up to the news that my cousin Kendra had passed away. Although her death was not unexpected, it still hit me hard, like a punch in the gut, leaving me breathless. The death of a loved one can profoundly awaken you to the reality of your own life.
Receiving the news of Kendra's passing brought up many emotions, especially guilt. Kendra had been ill for a long time, and while my family visited her in her final days, I didn't. The 16-hour travel time and $700 flight cost seemed too much for me. Yet, here I was, spending money on flights and food for a weekend of climbing in Las Vegas. At 26, I realized I wasn't living a life aligned with my values. Prioritizing a climbing trip over family was typical of me at that point. Ironically, I didn't even enjoy climbing that much. I went on these trips to prove my life was worth living. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time in the mountains, but my motivation wasn’t a genuine love for the outdoors—it was a fear of living a complacent life. I was trying to prove something to myself and to the world.
Kendra was a wonderful person and a mother of two. She was 12 years older than me, and I looked up to her. I loved her pink room, her love of cats, and her authenticity, even while growing up in Cheyenne, Wyoming. She was a beloved yoga teacher and was on her way to opening her own yoga studio. To me, it seemed like she was living her dreams. Our last conversation was about her encouraging me to pursue my dream of making yoga a full-time job.
At the time, I was working as a Civil Engineer, spending my days grading parking lots in CAD for businesses like Wendy’s. It was comfortable—I had a decent salary, could bring my dog to work, lived five minutes from the office, and had benefits like retirement and insurance. In college, my dream was to solve the world’s water resource problems. However, through a toxic relationship, running away from my problems, fear of being broke, lack of faith in my talents, and poor decision-making, I ended up in an 8-5 job that I loathed. My unhappiness drained me so much that I wasn’t showing up for friends or family. I was selfish in an unaware and unhealthy way. The consequences were shocking—my relationships were falling apart, my body was in chronic pain, I wasn’t sleeping, and my anxiety was out of control. I wish it didn’t take the death of a family member for me to see it all.
Five months after Kendra’s death, I quit my job and signed up for a 300-hour Yoga Teacher Training. It's hard to compare how I feel now with how I felt before. My life feels full, my relationships are healthy, my body feels good, and my actions align with my values. There’s still much to work on, but now I’m aware of it and can recognize when I’m not living in the present moment—being present is my new normal.
I am pursuing my dream of being a yoga teacher because the practice of yoga changed my life. Many people think yoga is just about physical poses, but the real practice is seeing yourself where you are and knowing how to get back on your path. I believe this is what Kendra saw and why she encouraged me to find my path again. This may not be my path forever, but it feels right now. That doesn’t mean it has been easy, and the universe has definitely thrown some challenges my way, but I know I’m in the right place, thanks to her.
Follow Nico at https://www.instagram.com/nico.hurley/
