YOU are your own walking vision board.

“Beyond the paper and the prayers, the to-do list, and the wanting, there is you, all of you. You are a walking vision board.”

The words above are from my friend Rev. Bunny Love-Shock. I love them for their simplicity yet weighted importance. But I’ve been wondering why is this such a hard concept to embrace? Why do we look past ourselves for affirmation, proof of our worth, and inspiration? Why do we define success in terms of our career, our partnership, the vacations we take, how clean our house is, how big our house is, what car we drive, where our kids go to college, who we know, and what we have versus who we are?

I've made vision boards on New Year's Day for years, most often with my daughter. I've honestly loved sorting through magazines, tearing out what caught my eye, and arranging the images on poster boards, often with little intention other than loosely held goals and aspirations. While this was a time to be creative with my daughter and helped me find clarity around near-term goals, I was often left wanting more somehow. And so every one of those vision boards slowly made its way to the back of my closet behind my winter coats, out of sight, no longer captivating. Then breast cancer and the pandemic, then divorce - and nothing on my vision boards could help. Cancer forced me to go inward and take a good look at all aspects of my life. Let's just say, I wasn't thrilled with everything I saw, and never felt more alone and isolated in my life.

But what I did find, was this. I found the courage to face my fears, the strength to move through my cancer treatment and a resilience that continues to support me as I move through my divorce. And so, as I’ve moved closer to embodying a life of intention, I’ve found renewed love and respect for myself, which feels amazing.

My friend Megan has been talking a lot about how we have been conditioned about aging, or rather, our obsession with antiaging, and the importance of changing that narrative. This also strikes a tone about using external validation for our inspiration. Using aspects of our physical appearance, just like we clip images from a magazine, to set the barometer for our goals. Why? I believe that the conversation has to start first with ourselves.

As I've moved through my 50’s, and especially as I've adjusted to new reconstructed breasts and my body post forced menopause, I've been as guilty as the next gal with negative self talk. And then my kids set me straight - they told me to stop with the negativity, that it wasn't attractive and didn't reflect the woman they know and love as their mom. Boy, was I schooled. So I committed to changing my personal narrative and started by complimenting myself in the mirror each morning, and smiling at my reflection. Then I read Mel Robbins book "The High Five Habit" and the shift I was beginning to feel inside made complete sense. How you talk to yourself as you get ready for the day, truly matters, and sets the tone for your entire day. When you take a few moments each day to admire your own reflection, to compliment yourself or give yourself a high five, it elevates your mood and your energy. And it enables you to see past your reflection, to feel truly grateful for your body, to be confident in your appearance, and to be aware of your energetic impact. When we stand in our strength and beauty, we have the potential to influence others and shift the narrative around aging and turn it into a conversation about living.

"The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation for every relationship you have in your life."

- Mel Robbins