I Dared myself to move to NYC

My First Detour

When I was 20, I Dared myself to move to New York City.

I am a Leo, an Enneagram 3, an ENFP, and a Manifestor.

I am curious. I trust my gut. I jump in with both feet. I love fiercely. I am bold, resilient, and hopeful. So naturally, when I was 20 years old, I Dared myself to move to New York City on my own, as a 4H girl from Oregon, sight unseen.

This was my first real intentional Detour.

Growing up on a hobby farm, I was truly carefree, but I intuitively knew that I needed to step outside of the comfort of my loving family and supportive community and test myself. I was excited and terrified at the same time — with very little financial security.

The actual move from Oregon to New York at age 20, fresh out of college with no real contacts in the city, was indeed hugely audacious and Daring in and of itself. My survival those first few years was based on grit, hard work, and a fearlessness I didn't know I possessed. I learned to read a room and found that while brusk, the people I encountered and worked with in New York genuinely wanted to support me, that girl from "OR-EE-GON." I didn't have an Ivy League education, I hadn't gone to summer camp in Maine, and I didn't golf or play tennis. But I arrived in NYC just before the world became driven by the internet and social media. I talked to my parents once a week on Sundays. I wrote letters to my sister and grandparents. I was very much on my own, making my way step by step. It was because I was so very different and was so far away from home, that drew people to me, and I learned to embrace myself and appreciate my upbringing in ways I hadn't ever before.

Often, when we pause to consider different points in our lives, we find it's the little things that truly shape our experience.

In NYC I was that girl in sneakers, walking to and from work, window shopping on 5th and Madison avenues on my way home. I became resourceful in finding ways to experience the art and culture of the city on a shoestring budget. I would buy a standing-room-only ticket at the Metropolitan Opera, and use my student ID to gain free access to museums. I typically spent Sunday mornings in Central Park with a regular coffee and a bagel from H&H, and the NY Times. I couldn't afford a gym. But I discovered that running wasn't all that bad, and would run from my apartment, around the reservoir, and back. This time in Central Park helped me stay calm and focused and was easy on my budget as I made my way in the city.

Growing up surrounded by forests and farms, I took nature for granted. In New York, I came to realize what a gift my parents gave my sister and me when they moved our family to Oregon, trading Silicon Valley for the Willamette Valley.

I’m writing all of this to share my own story of how Detours shift our perspectives, strengthen our reserve, and build our resilience. Now, 36 years later and drawing from my life experiences and the supportive guidance of experts, I help women find genuine community and empowerment by rediscovering who they truly are — through retreats, workshops, and transformative experiences.

When we give ourselves the permission to Detour, to step away from our day-to-day, we are able to recharge and reconnect with our authentic selves.