Our Stories Matter

I am thrilled to be able to introduce you all to Laura Riordan. Laura was an integral part of the genesis of Dare to Detour, as the concept behind Dare evolved out of a homework assignment for a class I took from her and Linda Lesem in March 2017 called What's Next 101. What's Next 101 explored all kinds of ways for women to shift from onboarding after a stint of mothering full time, embracing an empty nest, offboarding from a career into something else, entering full retirement, etc. I was part of the onboarding/empty nest group and learned ways to embrace the uncertainty of this transition through this class with Laura and Linda. After the class, I continued working with Laura as I built out my concept for Dare to Detour. Laura was instrumental in the beta test of my first Detour in 2017, and together with Linda, led workshops at the Nine Quarter Circle Ranch for my first four retreats there. She is especially equipped to support individuals to integrate learnings and experiences from travel and retreats upon their return, helping them acclimate back into their day-to-day, find clarity and create strategies for moving forward successfully. She and her family have relocated to Lisbon, Portugal, where she is leading a retreat from April 24th - May 1st. If you're feeling spontaneous, I encourage you to check out her offering: Portugal Wellbeing Adventure.

xo,

Sheryl

How to Bring Your Adventures Home

Since I was a young child, I have loved exploring new places and going on adventures. My family hiked, camped, skied, and road-tripped around much of the Northern United States. In those days, traveling was all about spotting wildlife, playing games, and gathering souvenirs from National Parks. In my late 20s, I began to venture farther from home and my comfort zone, and the more I engaged myself in my travels, the more I recognized how profoundly they had altered my worldview. I understood that the insights I was gaining were essential to my development, but I wasn't sure how I would use them once I got home.

I started to explore different methods for keeping these aha moments or life-lessons from my adventures alive and learning how to apply them to my growth. As part of my graduate studies in Transpersonal Psychology, I continued this exploration working with outdoor adventurers. During my interviews with adventurers, I learned that many had successfully incorporated their transformative experiences in nature into everyday routines at home. My study led me to start identifying key components that would help people more easily integrate their life-changing experiences.

My study concluded that a successful integration of these insights includes these three keys: (1) grounding and allowing your body to acclimate to the new experience, (2) nurturing your transition, and (3) strengthening the new mindset or way of being with practice.

In addition to these three key components, I have noticed time and time again in my real-world experience that having a community is the most important foundation of a successful integration. These days, I find the reason to take an adventure is to discover more of myself and to be able to share what I find with those back home. I want to share a few snippets from my travel experiences over the years to help you understand how to bring your own wisdom home with you.

Trekking the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal, age 29

Key #1: Grounding

Grounding is the first practice to help bring the meaning of your adventure home with you. It helps to take it in and own the experience, idea, feeling, or knowing as something that is uniquely yours.

We are twelve days into a twenty-day trek and have just crossed the top of the Annapurna Circuit, Throng La Pass (17,769 feet). My mind has finally begun to slow down and take in the daily life of the villages that we pass through. At this altitude, daily life is fragile and simple, and one becomes aware that everything has been transported here by foot or mule. We reach Kagbeni, a historic village in the Mustang district situated along the salt trade route between Nepal and Tibet. Exhausted, I sit and connect to the Tibetan monks taking refuge in this village as they spin their prayer wheels, sending peaceful wishes into the world. I am amazed at how easily I connect to these refugees who are fellow travelers here to find freedom. To help ground this experience, I purchased a small prayer wheel from the monks at Kagbeni. I try to be present when I see my prayer wheel and connect with others with an open heart, like the Tibetan monks, and it always brings me joy.

Grounding these transformative experiences with a totem, a mantra, a movement, or into your belly center helps to “digest” the experience. Being with that special object or speaking the mantra will remind you of the ways in which you wish to act in the present. You will be better able to see what is holding you back from being this self more often. You will focus on what is most important.

Venezuela, age 35

Key #2 Strengthening

Strengthening my sense of adventure, I set out on a three-week-long overland trip in Venezuela. But what I also found was a strengthening of my faith in the good-hearted nature of strangers.

The sun was just about to set over the sparkling Caribbean sea, where we found ourselves relaxing on a white sand beach after a three-day kayak trip in Mochima National Park. Local fishermen traversed the beach selling fresh oysters by the bucketful. I bought a bucket to share with my fellow kayakers, and they were delicious until the last one, which I immediately knew I shouldn’t have eaten. I went to bed early that night as I knew I would not get much sleep, as dysentery was setting into my stomach. In the morning, my crew was set to hike to a local waterfall. I had to stay behind, but by the afternoon felt a bit better and decided to wander into the small local town.

Right when I arrived in town, I knew it was a bad idea to have left my room and I lay down on a park bench. I dozed off for a short time and was awakened by a gentle hand and a smiling face urging me to get up and move. I had unwittingly chosen to nap on a very public bench and was drawing lots of attention. This kind older man led me under a shaded tree and asked me if he could place his hand on my belly. Now I have to admit that I was not 100% with it at this point, a bit dehydrated and lightheaded. I agreed as he seemed like a healer, and even though I didn’t speak enough Spanish to understand him, he had a warm smile. I let him place his hand on my belly and gently rock his hand while singing a peaceful healing song. After about 15 minutes, I started to feel much better and sat with him in silence, offering my appreciation. I went back to our guesthouse feeling renewed and more at peace.

I am blown away at the power of strangers to care for each other in remote parts of the world. It inspires me to interact with the local people and get curious about their lives and traditions. Nowadays, I feel that I don’t understand a place until I eat the local food, walk through the small neighborhoods or divergent trails, speak with a local elder, or find myself a bit lost and trust someone to help me heal. This experience taught me to strengthen my trust in humanity by allowing myself to connect more deeply. Being vulnerable means being open and honest about your feelings, experiences, and limitations. It allows you to connect with others on a deeper level, build trust and empathy, and foster authentic relationships.

Lisbon, Portugal, age 51

Key #3: Practice

My family moved to Lisbon, Portugal, from the San Francisco Bay Area in August 2021. It was a big adventure for us, and we hit the ground running with our 15-year-old daughter in an International school. After a few months of exploring our new home, I realized that I am so grateful that I understood the power of a practice to support me and leaned into my love of trail running. Learning to navigate new trails slowed my pace and required that I pay attention to my surroundings. My runs became mini-adventures, and I savored each new vista and flower that I found. I have also found a running community to practice with reminding me how much practice is essential to unfold meaning and growth.

Practice is not easy, it takes dedication and resilience. I find my most difficult practice is self-compassion. This has been the cornerstone of my move to Lisbon as it took a long time to get our lives established here. There are many days I realize I have been beating myself up for not “having it all together,” and self-compassion allows me to ask for the help that I need, to put myself out there with my very awkward Portuguese language skills, and ultimately to grow. Now I am not only practicing my trail running skills, but also self-compassion: treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend. On a good day, I recognize that vulnerability is a natural part of the human experience, and I take a deep breath of self-compassion and savor the views that I have discovered on the trails I now call home.

Note: Before you can bring all of the magical insights, aha moments, and unique experiences home, you need to allow yourself to trust the adventure. No matter how perfectly the setting is set, there will be unexpected turns and twists on your Detour and that’s a good thing! Sometimes these are meant to be surprise and delight moments (well crafted by a master guide like Sheryl) and sometimes they are little annoyances that help you to become more present and curious. Either way, they create an opportunity to pay attention to yourself, which, coupled with a dose of self-compassion, is an extraordinary way to find meaning in your journey!

Laura Riordan, Ph.D. is a transitions coach and expert guide to clients who feel stuck, disillusioned, or simply unclear about how to get their big ideas out into the world. Laura will work with you to create a balanced strategy for success by connecting to your values, finding passions you may have forgotten, helping you let go of old beliefs and aspirations that are no longer serving you, and prioritizing what is most important to set the stage for a more meaningful and joyful career and life.